Serenity Courage Wisdom
by Meg0613
Summary: Sharon and Andy struggle with how to move on after Stroh's escape.
1. Chapter 1

Serenity, Courage, Wisdom

Andy and Sharon struggle to figure out how to move forward after Stroh's escape. None of these wonderful characters are mine.

Chapter 1

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" Andy finished the prayer at his meeting greeted and a few friends before leaving. God, how many times had he said those words over the 17 years? He couldn't even begin to count. He believed them to be true and powerful. They helped him to sort out problems in his head.

Serenity had been a hard concept for him to learn but without a doubt a key lesson in staying sober. Serenity taught he could not make his ex-wife forgive him. Serenity taught him that he could not undo the mistakes of his past. Serenity taught him that he couldn't stop all of the horrible things in the world that he saw every day in his job.

Courage, Andy had always thought was just part of his nature. He was a cop after all. He put his life on the line every day. It would be so easy to let people think he was courageous because of his job. Andy knew that courage meant so much more than his job though. Courage was what kept him at these meetings every week. Courage was what sent him to that therapist office in order to try and rebuild relationships with his children. It was courage (albeit awkwardly displayed) that sent him into Sharon's office before Nicole's wedding. It was courage, he thought sadly that helped him leave her condo tonight when he wanted so badly to stay.

That brought him to wisdom. The part where is struggled at times. Wisdom was the first step into serenity or courage, figuring out what he could and could not change. This part was always the hardest. When he was in the wisdom seeking stage is when he heard his demons the loudest. It was rare outside of these times for him to really want to drink anymore. However when he was in these times the desire could be strong. Tonight was one of those nights. He had not felt such a desire to drink as he had tonight in a long time. He had left her place and headed straight to a meeting. He sat through two meetings actually until his head was back on straight.

Andy pulled out his phone as he got into his car. Checking to see maybe if she had called or texted but there was none. He allowed himself a minute to look at pictures on his phone. He pulled up the one he saved as her contact picture. It was one they had taken together at Rusty's graduation party. She was so happy that night. She was light and very flirty after everyone had left she had kissed him. Andy smiled at the memory of her shock after she did it. It was so brief and fleeting most people wouldn't have thought anything of it but Sharon wasn't most people. Andy missed those times and would do anything to give them back to her. It was a point in her life that her worries were so much lighter. Since Stroh's escape though things were different.

It wasn't that Andy only wanted to be there for the good times. He wanted to be there for all the times. It was a matter of getting her to let him. He would be whatever she wanted him to be to her if she would just tell him, and keep to it. One day it seemed he was just her lieutenant, one day her good friend again, then on nights like tonight she wanted something more. That was what was beginning to wear him down, the back and forth. "I wish I knew…" he muttered to himself in his car as he thought back through their evening.

_It was almost time to leave when Andy's phone buzzed. "Dinner?" Was all that it said. He couldn't help himself as he looked towards her office. She was looking back at him and smiling. God, he loved that smile. He didn't see it enough anymore. "Of course", he wrote back. "You know you could just go in there and talk to each other." His partner said gruffly. Andy just shot him a look. He texted her back, "Pick you up at 7:30 have to get rid of Provenza's body first." He was pretty sure he heard her laugh through her office door. _

_He picked her up and took her to one of her favorite places. She had been in a light mood and they had talked and laughed. When they were leaving the restaurant she had weaved her arm through his. He had fully intended to drop her off in the parking garage. There was a time when he always walked her to her door and she had invited him in but those nights did not seem to happen often anymore. So when she asked him to come up he was pleasantly surprised. She had made coffee for both of them and he turned on some music. The whole thing felt so familiar and good. He knew it was because Rusty was staying at Tao's playing video games with his sons tonight. She knew he was safe so she felt OK relaxing. She brought in their coffee and they sat and talked. Somehow their hands found each other on the back of the couch. They stared at each other for a minute. Andy looked into her eyes. There was so much warmth in them. Wisdom be damned at that moment he had to kiss her. He leaned closer to her to find that she was meeting him halfway. Their lips met tentatively at first. Then Andy felt Sharon's lips part as she pressed closer to him. He let go of her hand and pulled her closer to him. Suddenly there was nothing but heat and urgency between them. Andy was the one to pull back first. He looked at her and placed a hand on either side of her face, "Sharon. What are we doing?" he asked her. "What we've wanted to do for a while?" she said leaning in to kiss him again. They kissed again and again. Andy knew they were reaching a turning point. He kissed her softly one last time, "I should go" he said. She grabbed his hand as he stood up, "Stay" she said softly but her meaning was very clear. Andy looked at her. She was so beautiful and in that moment so very vulnerable. He sat back down next to her and held her hand. _

"_Sharon, there is nothing I want more than to stay here with you tonight and I know it's what you want tonight too, but I don't know if it's what you are going to want tomorrow. Until I know this is what you really want, we can't" he told her, courage he reminded himself, courage. _

"_Andy, there is just so much going on. I can't promise you anything. Keeping Rusty safe has to come first. I can't think about us while I'm thinking about keeping him safe." She said and Andy could hear the combination of sadness and anger in her voice. _

"_Sharon, you are letting Stroh keep you in prison. You are letting him win" Andy said softly_

_With that comment the sadness left her voice and it was just anger, "As long as my son is alive he hasn't won. And I think you are right you should go." She said._

"_Sharon…"He started but he saw the anger in her eyes, "All right, I will call you tomorrow." She didn't move from the couch as he left._

Andy sighed again as he ran his hand through his hair. He looked at the time. She would be asleep. Calling now wouldn't be a good idea. Going by her place really wouldn't be a good idea. They needed to talk though. He needed her to understand. He knew the smart thing would be to wait until tomorrow but when he pulled out of the parking lot he turned towards her place anyway.

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The knocking at her door startled Sharon. She had been sitting on her balcony trying to clear her head. Tonight had not gone the way she wanted. She had never intended to ask Andy to stay the night. Of course she had never intended to make out with him on her couch either. She missed him so much. She missed the direction they were heading before Stroh escaped. She had just gotten use to the idea of them dating. After Stroh escaped though she put up a wall between them. She was afraid that if she let herself think about Andy, about them, too much she would miss something and Rusty might get hurt. The worst part was she never had even talked to Andy about it. She just pulled back from him. She didn't hold his hand anymore like she had started to do when they went out. She stepped away from his good night kisses quickly. She found more reasons to turn him down when he asked her out. They still saw each other outside of work but after a couple of weeks Andy got the message and stopped trying and went back to just being her friend. If she was honest she couldn't blame him for leaving tonight. Now however she could add embarrassment to the emotions that were overwhelming her.

She looked at the time it was almost midnight. She knew who was at her door. She knew just by the way he knocked. "It's late" she said answering the door to him. "I know, but I didn't like how we left things. Can I come in please?" He said not looking her in the eye. Sharon stepped to the side so he could come in. "Coffee?" she asked him. "No I've had about 4 cups tonight. I'm good." He laughed. They walked into the living room and sat back on the couch much like they had earlier.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Sharon said first, "That wasn't fair to you." She wouldn't look at him.

Instinctively Andy put his hand over Sharon's. He waited for a second and when she didn't pull back he spoke. "Sharon, I need to say a few things and I would really like you to listen please."

Sharon nodded at him and gave him a half smile. She knew she owed him that. Andy let go of her hand for a minute and pulled out his wallet. Sharon looked at him in confusion as he opened it and pulled something out and handed it to her. Sharon looked at the faded, worn, laminated card that he gave her.

"At my very first AA meeting someone gave that to me. I have kept it with me for 17 years. When things get tough, when I feel overwhelmed with all of the crap out there I go back to this." He said

"Andy, I don't understand." Sharon said

"Sharon, you, us, we have moved into this area. I don't know what to do with us anymore and when I don't know what to do with things I try and figure out what I can change and what I can't and that's what I've been thinking about tonight." He told her looking away from her again.

"So what have you figured out?" She asked him not sure that she wanted to know.

He took a deep breath, stood up and began to pace a little, "All right first things I can't change: I can't change either of our past relationships, I can't make up for the way Jack treated you or erase the damage that he did. I also can't make you stop worrying about Rusty. No matter how badly I want I can't make you believe he is safe. As part of that I can't make you believe that it is all right for you to move forward while this is going on. You have to want that for yourself."

Sharon stared at him with a stunned look on her face. She wanted to say something but his honest and accurate observations left her speechless. She looked down at the floor before she said quietly "What about the things that you can change?'

Sharon didn't look back up until she felt Andy sit back beside her and take her hand again. "What I can change is to make sure that you know without a doubt how I feel about you, this is the part where I need you to listen to me all the way, all right?" he said placing one hand on her face so she was looking at him.

Sharon nodded but didn't speak, still not sure if she wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Sharon, I love you. I'm not saying this to pressure you. I'm saying this so that you know what I mean by that. When I tell you that I love you it means I am willing to do what you need. If you tell me that right now you just need a friend then I will be that friend. If you think you want to try for something more than I am ready for that. What I can't do Sharon is this back and forth. I have to know who we are."

There was a long silence between them, Andy waited still holding her hand. Finally she spoke, "Andy, there is just so much right now." She started.

"Sharon, there will always be so much. We each have complicated pasts, children, and challenging jobs. The question is what we can change and what can't we change. I have started figuring mine out. I think it's time you start doing the same." His voice and eyes were both tender and compassionate. "That's why I'm giving this to you." He said pressing the card back into her hand. "Keep it, no pressure except tell me that you will at least think about what I said."

Sharon felt the tears begin to fill her eyes. He started to get up from the couch and she grabbed his hand again like she had earlier. "Thank you" she said softly, "I will." He leaned in and kissed her softly before he left.

Sharon sat back on the couch pulling a throw pillow against herself. She looked down at the card in her hand and read it, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Serenity Courage Wisdom

Chapter 2

Sharon didn't sleep that night after Andy left. She tossed and turned. She would doze off for a few minutes but couldn't get Andy's words out of her head. Logically she knew there were things that she could not control in this world. She had seen enough in over twenty years with the LAPD to know that. She had eventually known that she could not control Jack's drinking and gambling. However, she had always managed to keep her children safe. She had always managed to keep her priorities in line so that she gave them what they needed. Now, Andy was challenging all of that.

Then there was the other matter. He had told her that he loved her. What was so unusual was he didn't tell her that he loved her because he wanted something from her. He told her he loved her so that she would know he would be there for her, however she needed him to be. Sharon truly didn't know what to make of that. She wanted to trust Andy, to count on him, but she honestly didn't know how.

As she was getting out of the shower Sharon heard her phone ringing. She picked it up off the counter of her bathroom, it was Andy. "Hello" she answered nervously. "Hey, I just wanted to check on you. I know I said a lot last night and I wanted to see if you were all right." Andy said. Sharon was quiet on the other end for a minute. "You left me with a lot to think about and honestly I don't know how to work it all out." She finally told him honestly.

"How about you try and talk about it with your friend Andy." He said, and Sharon could almost see the sheepish grin on his face over the phone. "We could meet for brunch." He added. Sharon hesitated again but finally said, "Andy, I want to be fair to you…"

"Sharon let me be responsible for what I can and cannot handle. I can handle listening to my friend talk about what's going on in her life…if she wants me to listen." Andy told her.

Sharon sighed and smiled, she had treated him so badly recently but here he was offering her so much. "All right, give me an hour?" she said.

They met at a small place down the street from her condo. After they ordered Sharon pulled a notebook and pen from her purse. "So, I tried making lists.." she started and Andy couldn't help but smile. It was so perfectly her. He leaned over and looked at her paper, "Its blank." He said with a small chuckle. "I know." She said looking away from him, "I really don't know where to start. This all feels so much bigger than just a simple list." She finished.

"Because it is" Andy said placing his hand over hers. "Sharon the problem is you cannot logically figure all of this out. Faith has to play a part in it somewhere. You have to have faith that even though you aren't the one controlling everything that things can still turn out all right."

Sharon glanced out the window next to them. "Faith, I have never been very good at that." She said quietly.

Andy looked at her in surprise. "Sharon, you're Catholic. You are so Catholic you stayed married to a man that you didn't live with for twenty years and you sent all of your kids to Catholic school, now I'm a little out of practice but I'm pretty sure they teach something about faith in the Catholic church."

Sharon hummed and pursed her lips, "They also teach a lot about rules and order. The right way of doing things. That's the part I always found comfort in. I knew what the rules were and I could follow them. My faith was in the rules and the system."

Andy looked at her, he wondered if she had ever admitted that to anyone before, or herself. If it was even possible he loved her even more for it. "So, it must have stung when you followed the rules and it didn't work out the way you thought it would." He said tenderly

Sharon looked at him in surprise, "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, following the rules didn't keep Jack at home or sober, it didn't keep Stroh from escaping. Sharon, you have to accept that no matter how much you follow the rules not everyone is going to. You've taught me that it is important to still follow them anyways. Now maybe it's my turn to teach you something." He explained.

"What's that?' She asked

"That recognizing that you can't control everything doesn't mean you actually have less control. You are simply acknowledging what is already true." He told her.

Sharon looked at him for a few minutes unsure of what to say. They sat there for several minutes neither of them talking but Andy could tell that she was thinking about what he had said. "So how do you know the difference?" She finally asked.

"Between what you can and cannot change? It's not easy and I get hung up in that area a lot. For me I ask myself some questions. Have I tried my best? Have I thought about others? Have I thought about what I need? Most importantly, have I been honest with myself and others? If you really want to make a list maybe try making one of the things that have already happened that you could not change and what happened in your life because of them."

Sharon found herself staring at him again. This time she reached over and took his hand, "Thank you Andy, for everything."

They ate their brunch and talked comfortably about other subjects. Andy walked her to her car when they finished. He reached out and put his and on the side of her face, "Are you going to be all right?" he asked her. She smiled a genuine smile at him, "Yes, I feel a lot better. I still have a lot to think about but I think I know where to start. Thank you Andy, again." She told him before kissing him on the cheek. As he turned to leave she grabbed his hand again. He smiled at her, "You're making a habit of that." He teased her. "Andy, this might not be easy for me, promise me something no matter how much I push you away that my friend Andy will keep showing up. I need him." Andy pulled her close, he knew that for her to admit that she needed anyone was a huge step. "Always" he said kissing the top of her head, "Call me later" he said as he put her into her car.

Sharon turned out of the parking lot but didn't head home. She wasn't entirely sure where she was going but she knew she needed a place to think. She found herself at St. Joseph's the church had a small chapel that she knew would be open. She found herself automatically going through the rituals as she entered finding comfort in them. She lit a candle and found her way to a pew in the back of the chapel. She sat there for several minutes trying to collect her thoughts. She sound it impossible to complete a thought. She was growing frustrated and about to leave when she remembered the card Andy had given her the night before. She pulled it out of her purse and ran her fingers over it. It was so worn and faded she could barely make the words out on it anymore. She wondered how many times in the early days of his sobriety Andy had held it the same way. Sharon didn't need to read it though she was knew the words already. It was not the kind of prayer you said in the Catholic Church usually but she knew they were the words that echoed the cry of her heart. She closed her eyes and whispered them quietly out loud, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

After she prayed the prayer she remembered Andy's words from earlier. She pulled back out the notebook that was sitting blank in her purse and started a list of things that she had not been able to change in her life. Of course at the top of that list was Jack. She had loved him, enabled him, yelled at him, and finally divorced him and he still couldn't stay sober or stop gambling. She was quiet and still for a minute as she thought about what had happened in her life because of that. Pain, was her first thought. So much pain for both her and her children. Then she thought further and thought about the decisions she had made because of Jack's actions. If he hadn't lost all of their money she would have gone to law school. She would never had joined the LAPD. The career she loved and all of the relationships she had would never have happened. If she hadn't joined the LAPD she wouldn't have one of her children. That thought sent a shockwave of emotion through her. If she had been able to change Jack she wouldn't have Rusty. It made no sense to her. How could something that had been so painful also have led to something that brought her so much joy?

Sharon turned the page in her notebook and wrote "Rusty". When he first came into her life she wanted so desperately to fix all of his problems. She wanted to find his mother for him. She wanted Sharon Beck to be clean and sober and to mother him the way he needed. Sharon had not been able to make that happen. When Daniel came along as much as it hurt she wanted Rusty to know what a family could be. She wanted Daniel to love Rusty and give him a family. He was not the man to do that. If she had been able to change either of them Rusty would not be part of her family today. She would not get the pleasure of watching him grown into such an incredible young man.

She turned the page again and wrote on the top of the page, Major Crimes. She didn't want to take the positon. She had dealt with that division so much and they hated her. Pope and Taylor however left her no choice. She had been unable to change their minds and she stepped into the position. She smiled when she thought about it now because her team was now such a part of her life. They had her back and she had theirs. She had never felt more at peace in her professional life than she did now.

Sharon turned the page one more time. There was only one place left to go and she wasn't sure that she wanted to go there because it was still so current and unresolved. She took a deep breath and wrote his name the top of the page "Andy". It wasn't that she wanted to change Andy, not at all. Maybe when she had first met him she had wanted him to change his temper but he had worked on that. No there was nothing about Andy that she wanted to change at all except for the way she felt about him. She had never planned on starting any kind of relationship with him outside of work. He had seemed so lost the day of Nicole's wedding that she had to try and help him out. Then things just started to happen slowly, The Nutcracker, dinner once a week, dinner twice a week, the Dodger's game, the charity banquet, suddenly it was more dinners together than apart. Then it was Christmas and he had worked with her kids on the party. That night after everyone had left and it was just the two of them in her office, after he gave her that angel, she had slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him. That was three weeks before Stroh had escaped. They never labeled their relationship but it was different after that and they both knew it. Until Stroh escaped and Sharon pulled back. However despite her best effort, despite the distance she put between them she could not change how she felt about him. Probably because he kept showing up just like he did last night and today. He was always there in case she needed him. He made it completely impossible to change what she felt for him. She loved him.

Suddenly a feeling settled over her as she read back over her notes. Her son, her team, Andy, all things she would not have if she had been able to change things. At first she was unable to identify the feeling. Then she remembered Andy's card, "Serenity" she whispered quietly.

Sharon was surprised to see that the sun was starting to set outside the windows. She had no idea that she had sat there for so long. She put her notebook inside her purse and made her way from the chapel. She pulled out her phone. A text from Rusty and one from Andy. Rusty was staying another night at Tao's. Andy was just checking on her. She took a breath before texting him, "I'm better, can I come over?" He told her he would start dinner for them. Sharon took a breath before starting the car suddenly filled with nerves, "Courage," she said out loud, "give me courage."

A/N Thank you so much for all of the wonderfully thoughtful comments/favorites and follows to the first chapter. I'm glad so many of you felt a connection to it!


	3. Chapter 3

Serenity Courage Wisdom

Chapter 3

The closer she got to Andy's house Sharon could feel whatever serenity and courage she had found in the chapel begin to falter. She had no idea what she was going to say to him. She still didn't know what she wanted from him or could offer to him. She just knew that she needed him.

She pulled her car into the driveway just as the last of the sun was setting behind her. He must have been watching for her because he met her at the front door before she could even knock. She smiled up at him as he opened the door and then looked back away unsure of what to say. Sensing her uneasiness Andy stepped closer to her and pulled her to him as he had earlier. "Hey, it's just your friend Andy" When she stepped back from him Andy could see that she was a mess of conflicted emotions. "It's not an easy process." He offered with a gentle smile. "Come it and sit down dinner will be ready soon."

Sharon found herself unable to completely let go of him, holding his hand as they walked to the couch in his living room. Sharon realized that she still hadn't actually said anything once they sat down. "I went to church. I didn't intend to go there. It's just where I ended up." She told him. "Did it help?" he asked. "Yes, I think it did. I don't know how to explain it all to you." She said with a frustrated look on her face. "Sharon you don't have to…" He started to say. "No, I want you to know and understand." She paused for a minute. Andy recognized the look on her face. It was the same one she got when she figured a case out, he waited. She suddenly looked nervous again as she reached for her purse and pulled out her notebook. "I did what you said." She told him handing it to him, "you can read it." Andy looked at her in amazement, "Are you sure?" he asked. "Yes, I can't say it all but I need you to know it."

Andy took the notebook from her and opened it. He read Jack's name across the top of the page. He felt a mixture of anger and heartbreak when he read her words. The fact that Jack had never found the ability to fight for this woman and his family sickened Andy. He smiled a little when he read her realization about Rusty. She was beginning to get it. He read the page on Rusty and once again found himself falling more in love with her. All she ever wanted for the boy was for him to have a family and ultimately she was the one who gave it to him. When he got to the page that said Major Crimes he felt guilt wash over him. He knew he was a large part of the reason she felt hated there. He remembered every time that he had yelled at her. He felt tears begin to form in his own eyes, "I don't think I have ever told you how sorry I am for the way I treated you." He told. She smiled at him, "Andy it was a long time ago and you have more than made up for it."

They looked at each other for a few moments before he turned the page again. Sharon felt her breath catch as he turned it. Andy looked down at the page that had his name and back up at Sharon. He looked back down and read the words on the page again. All it said under his name was, "I can't change that I love him and that scares me." Andy set the book down and pulled Sharon to him. "Beautiful, there is nothing to be scared of." He placed his hands on her face and kissed her slowly. He felt her lean into the kiss and felt the intensity grow. It wasn't the passionate heat of their kisses the previous night. This kiss was tender, full of emotion and promise. When they pulled apart Andy looked into Sharon's eyes again, "Thank you for trusting me."

As they sat there for a minute Sharon remembered that she hadn't eaten anything since their brunch many hours earlier. "Um, did you mention something about dinner?" she asked him. Andy smiled at her, "Yep, I made you my specialty and it should be ready, come on." He said taking her hand and guiding her to the kitchen. "Andy, it smells wonderful. Is this another one of your surprises?" she asked running her hand along his arm feeling herself beginning to relax a little. He just tuned and smiled a planted a quick kiss on her lips, "Go get plates" he said pointing to the cabinet. Andy pulled something out of the oven and Sharon looked over in surprise. "Macaroni and cheese?" she asked with a giggle. "Made from scratch, thank you, I keep the ingredients on hand because the boys love it when they are here."

They made up plates and sat at his table and ate in comfortable silence. "Oh my God Andy, this is unbelievable." She said after taking a few bites. "See I am full of surprises." He teased her. After they ate they cleaned up together in his small kitchen. Sharon couldn't help but notice that Andy allowed himself to touch her more than usual. Nothing pressuring just small comforting touches as they were near each other. Sharon turned from the sink to ask Andy where to put something and found him standing right behind her. He took the dish from her and set it on the counter and rested his hands on the sink behind her. "We probably need to talk a little more, but first I would really like to kiss you again." He said grinning at her. She slipped her arms around his neck closing the rest of the space between them. Their lips met and mouths opened for each other. When he heard Sharon let out a small moan he pushed himself closer to her pushing them both against the sink. For a few minutes they both let themselves forget about everything else. They just enjoyed the feeling of being closer to each other than ever before. Andy allowed his lips to leave hers and place a soft trail of kisses across her face and to her neck. He followed the trail back up finally placing a kiss on her forehead. "We should probably talk now." He said against her hair. When Sharon only let out a small "hmmm" he chuckled a little, placed another soft kiss on her lips and stepped back from her.

They sat back in the living room, Sharon's notebook still sitting on the coffee table. "So, now what?" she asked him. "You mean other than kissing you as often as I can?" he teased. Sharon rolled her eyes at him, "Andy" was al she said. "Sharon, listen, we don't have to figure it all out tonight. We know how we feel each other and we can work from there."

"Andy, this is all so new to me, I meant both things that I said in that notebook." She stopped for a minute and took a breath, "I love you and that scares me."

He smiled for at her for a minute appreciating the effort it took for her to say that and relishing in the thrill of hearing it at the same time. "What is it exactly that you are scared of?" he asked her genuinely.

"So much, first I am scared of how deeply I feel about you. It scares me that I need you. I haven't let myself need anyone in a really long time. I am scared that I don't know how to have a relationship with someone. All I can hear is Jack's drunk voice telling me that I was the one who ruined everything." The tears were starting to fall from her eyes and Andy reached up and wiped them away. "Also, I meant want I said last night. I am scared that I will get so caught up in you that I will miss something with Rusty or Stroh. Andy I have almost lost him so many times. I don't know how to get past that." She told him her voice starting to shake a little.

Andy looked at her for a minute and took her hands, "I need you to listen to me very carefully all right?" he asked her. Sharon nodded her head. "First thing, we have to work on getting Jack's voice out of your head. Because his voice has no place here. My ex-wife's doesn't either. We are us. The only voices we need to hear are each other's. Jack is a bastard who has hurt you for too long to keep you from finding happiness now. I need you to promise me that when you start to hear Jack's voice you will tell me and if I hear my ex-wife's I will tell you. This will never work if we are fighting against people that aren't in the room. Can we agree on that?"

"I will try." Sharon said

"That's all I can ask. Second, what you don't need to be scared of needing me because you can count on me. I'm in Sharon, I meant what I said last night, I love you and I'm here for you however you want me. Haven't I proven that to you?" He asked her.

Sharon could detect the small amount of hurt in his voice and she placed a hand on his face, "If you hadn't I would have never shown you that notebook." She told him pressing a kiss on his lips.

Andy smiled at her, "All right then as far as Rusty in concerned you need to trust yourself a little more. Sharon you are the most levelheaded grounded person I know. As much as I would like to think I could I am not going to sweep you away in a wave of emotion and passion and that's OK. We will figure out what this relationship and keep Rusty as safe as possible. We can do this I believe in us."

"Us," she echoed him softly, "I haven't been part of an us in a long time. I like how it sounds. I want to be us." She said.

Andy smiled and turned her slightly pulling her back against him. "All right, I think we've figured out enough for tonight. Do you need to get home to Rusty?" he asked her

"No, he's staying at Tao's again." She answered leaning back into him feeling the comfort of his arms around her and chest behind her. "Andy, if this is the beginning of serenity and courage I think like it." She said her voice sounding very sleepy. "Me too Beautiful, me too." He whispered back as he felt her fall asleep in his arms.

The End

A/N Thank you all so much for the unbelievably kind words that you have left me on this story. It was truly a joy to write.


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